viva la college freshman

Geez its been a while since I posted something..hmmm..

Well life is pretty nice...Last weekend was "family weekend" at GVSU so my fam came up for a few days. It was so much fun. We went to the mall, and I showed them Downtown Grand Rapids, which is about as exciting as Downtown Naperville.. There was a pretty cool art exhibit though (peep picture)..I was so greatful to eat food that was not from the campus. They could have taken me to Burger King and I would have enjoyed it like it was the best meal I had ever had. Even though the food on campus is good, its kinda getting old. My family irritated me (haha), yet I still loved being with them (damn my ass didnt even think to take a family picture). I didnt realize how much I missed being around them until I saw them and they left. In that three days I had gotten re connected with them; it was like I had never gone off to school. Them going back home last weekend was harder for me to accept than move-in day. Which reminds me,

I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to go home. As much as I love Grand Valley, I miss my own room and clean bathroom; I miss Chipotle and the Patio. I miss Bok Choy. And of course, I miss us. I was trying to come home one weekend this month, but my schedule just wont allow it. It doesnt help that all my friends went home this weekend either...I guess I will just study for midterms.

MIDTERMS NEXT WEEK NO RETAKE POLICY SOMEBODY HELP ME!

For the most part Im doing pretty well in my classes. I didnt fail my science exam, which surpised me; I actually did better than most people. I hate my Constitutional Basis class. Stupid politics ...hmm.. that class makes me want to change my major. I cant stand that class. Its a requirement for social studies majors, even though most of the material goes way beyond anything I will be teaching middle schoolers. But thinking about how great it will be when I teach my own class makes me want to keep at it.

I love my activities. BSU and "YBBW (you beautiful black woman. haha) are both throwing parties and doing alot of community service this month. October has been crazy busy for me but for the most part I am enjoying it. Ket you were saying that you dont have many friends but joining a club or activity will solve that issue.

I am thirsty. Not horny; I dont want to have sex; but thirsty. I am very thirsty for male companionship. I want to go on a date. The white guy, greg, has a girlfriend. -__- that he claims he is going to break up with "soon..." Im not even going to get involved with that mess... nope. Not gonna touch it. I told you guys about the junior...sexy ass... So..after that one conversation we had i still can not bring myself to say anything to him besides a "hey what's up?" There have been several opportunities for me to talk to him, none of which I have taken. YES. Brooke Denham is being shy in the presense of a guy. I didnt think it could happen either. But it has. I dont know what it is about him...I just have a dumbass freshman crush on him. So pathetic..I need to get it together. I feel like a dork. Am I the only one who often feels like a dork? hmmm...

<3

on a higher note

First off sorry my last entry was so dramatic. I was just...really pissed.

Besides that whole situation, everything is great. The more time I spend at Grand Valley the more I love it. I agree with Nida: I wouldn't go back to high school if they paid me. I love this thing called college, I like to think that college loves me. THE FREEEEEEEDDDDDOOOOOMMMM is so amazing. I love the fact that I can do my own thing without anyone (my family) putting their say into it. I can come and go as I please, I can eat without having a vegetable on my plate..if I knew any guys I could hang out with them without my brother cock blocking.. And you would think that with all these new responsibilities at hand that I would be stressed out of my mind. But I am actually quite the opposite. I have never been so stressed free in my life. I really don't stress about stuff like I did over the summer and in high school. I finally got my cycle back in order (yay) i think the last time my skin looked this good i was in 5th grade. Stress free is the way to be.

My classes are great. My weird ass political science professor decided to do the cupid shuffle in class last week O__O. I didn't even laugh...it was just...not correct. My science class is still a bunch of fun. We decorated rainbows with glitter for a class calendar( I should be doing science homework right now but I decided to update this).

I joined a group called the Black Student Union which is the college form of B.A.S.I.C....should be fun. I am also thinking about joining a sorority next semester, despite my mom's complaints. I talked to her about it, and the conversation went something like this:

mom: "I don't want you to join a sorority this year."

Brooke: "didn't you say you wanted me to get involved?"

mom:..... (admits defeat)

Brooke:"I win!"

This weekend went pretty swell. It was my friend Katie's birthday so we went out. Our goal was to hit up around 5 or 6 clubs. We hit up 5. Mission acomplished. Then Saturday night the black fraternities hosted this dance called the icebreaker...it was basically like homecoming dance without a dress code and there were no teachers telling us not to juke. Good times.

<3

comments arent needed; just read. :3

god damn its a shame how things fall apart.

.....

But when things aren't built on solid foundations I guess that's what happens.

I kind of knew this was going to happen, but I didn't expect hell to break loose in Bolingbrook this soon; not like this.

I know everyone thinks this is just entertainment, but its hard to enjoy and spectate when you are in the ring. This is my drama as much as it is Adrian's Ari's and Donald's..and even Dre's idiot ass. This has been going on low key below the surface for about a month now. Only me Adrian and Ari really know what is going on. Ari and I are the only ones with a tad bit of logic, however, being on the inside does not make this situation add up.

Adrian is my best friend. Yes, I realize he is a fucking lunatic, but he is my friend regardless. Adrian has always been there for me, and just like when you guys go through something I have to be there for him. I don't abandon people. As far as Donald...fml..Lord knows me and that boy have been through it all. You would think that I would like the fact my ex boyfriend might get his ass beat, after all the crap we have dealt with, but i don't like it at all. Maybe its because after all this fucking time I'm still not completely over him. -__-

Its so pathetic but when this thing started (lets call it the "Winter Fucking Break Drama") I cried my eyes out over these kids. I didn't tell anyone how bent out of shape I was because I knew it was stupid for me to have feelings for these people.

And what sucks about this is that I just keep asking Dre to shut up and I ask Adrian to calm down and I try to talk to Don but all my mediation efforts are in vain. I feel like a mother watching the news and she sees that her darling children have robbed a bank.

But maybe that's what i get for trusting and genuinely liking everyone. Its time to let people go; which is obviously easier said than done for me.

This whole "Winter Fucking Break Drama" will be the last of my encounters with the S.O.D. What a sad way to spend the holidays; watching drama. I wont be there.

<3

days 5 through 12 hahahahaha

Nida is right...we are jagging on our blogs. I take pictures everyday but I am too lazy to upload them. I thought I would be able to blog about each individual day with a picture, but its just not going to happen. I dont have enough time on my hands.

Let's see...where to start...

My classes are great. I love my schedule. Monday Wednsday and Friday my day starts at 10 and Im done with classes at 12 (with an exception on friday I get out earlier). Tuesday and Thursday I have a class at 1 and then I have a class at four. My political studies professor keeps belching in the middle of his lectures. gross. I love my science class. Im not actually learning science though. Im learning how to teach elementary students science. On Wednsday I taught kids about genetics and natural selection by "mating" spoons and forks and creating "sporks." On Monday I will get to create an ocean with Sweedish Fish candies. Sounds like fun.

I NEVER see my roommate. She is very nice though.

I have been to some pretty "proper" parties (for those who are unfamiliar with Detriot slang, "proper" means "the shit"). I went to a step show (see picture) which was fun. Black fraternities/sororities are something else..yet I still kinda want to be a member of one..hmmm. There have been some pretty good hangouts too. Last weekend my friends and I went Downtown Grand Rapids and got lost. While walking around we found a pretty nice Chinese restaurant. It reminded me of our Zen House/ Bok Choy extravagansas. Good memories.

I have a small crush on the RA that lives on the first floor. haha. Is it sad he is the only guy I know on campus? O__O

<3

day four= more adventures

8-30-09

so this is the last day before classes start. some friends and i went for another walk to make sure we knew our way around.

i took this picture in one of the campus parks.

i cant stop talking about the fact that i love this place. it's so beautiful. and as cheesy as it may sound, the people are beautiful too. everyone is very friendly and polite; everyone is so eager to help others. this is my kind of school.

and believe it or not, i have only met 5 guys: two of which were gay. idk...im having such a good time with the girls on my floor the guys dont even matter.....imagine that.

<3

day three= exploring

8-29-09

after transitions me and a few new friends went for a walk around campus.

i LOVE this campus. its so beautiful and the landscaping is amazing; great for taking pictures.

the bell tower is the tower of the Kirkoff building, which is kind of the central building of the school. it rings every hour and then it plays a song.

<3

day two = transitions

7-28-09

yes the gang is all here...some of my stuffed animals were still upset that i didnt bring them, but they will get over it. lol

second day of transitions which is like a freshman seminar type deal.

boring as hell. but i made friends :) this is a picture of us before we hit the club

<3

day one= move in

8-27-09

this is my desk....peep the picture of kristen in 7th grade. lol

i really love Grand valley. its great. this school was made for me.

<3

the countdown

so i know i said i wouldnt have too many words in my blog, but forget that. you guys know i have too much to say. i will still try to upload a picture for everyday once i start school. oh, by the way:

*public service announcement*

*i think since we are going to diffrent schools and we might not talk to each other as much, its important that everyone comments on each new blog entry written, so that we know everyone is reading and keeping up with the blogs.*

okay. back to whatever i was talking about...which was nothing...

last week was my "sad week" if you couldnt tell from my previous entry. i cried just about everyday. i was really stressed and sad and worried. I wanted to spend time with people, but i felt like i was just going to leave them forever, so i didnt hang out with anyone. i knew i would miss my family too, but instead of talking to them i just hid in my room. and cried. all week.

luckily that week is over. I told myself i could have one week of sulking and sappy songs. that was it. on Sunday i got it all out my system. I faced the fact that i would have to leave for school, that things would be better once i got adjusted, and that i needed to embrace the changes that would take place. As strange as it may sound i knew something was going to happen that would make me want to leave bolingbrook forever...i was correct.

monday night i found out that he has a new girlfriend. to say the least, i was highly upset. i wish i could say that i was happy for him, but im not. it's good he is moving on, but i honestly didnt expect him to move onto someone new 2 weeks after we broke up.

i feel salty.

i feel like a fool.

i feel like a number.

i feel like i lost the game.

i feel like i have been thrown away.

Knowing that the person who was the focus of my senior year and summer was moving on from me was enough to make me want to leave bolingbrook and not look back. Its kinda sad, but this situation really burned me. I know i sound irrational, but its how i feel at the moment. i wish i could just erase this from existence.

i know i will get over it. and im sure in about a month, he is not going to matter. until then, im counting down the days until i leave.

I cant believe im letting a person i dont even "like" dictate my feelings.

pathetic? maybe. real? of course.

on a much higher note Candy Coated Candice and Kristen the Great are already at school. Dearest Nida goes to school tomorrow; i know she will do fine. i just feel bad for those sexy guys..hehehe dont hurt 'em, nida. :)

<3

blank.

geez man.

i dont know what to think about the fact that i am leaving everyone i know and love and going off to a new place.

i feel sick to my stomach as i write this.

Candice is gone, and within the next week we will all be seperated (sniffle sniffle).

this week i have felt many emotions, and joy has honestly not been one of them.

my family has been working my last nerves...i wish i could be on my own; yet i dont want to leave them.

packing all my stuff up is alot of work...leaving my room to live with someone else in a smaller room scares me.

I am so stressed about everything; my mom thinks the reason my period is so irregular is because of stress...we went to the doctor and she agrees. My skin wont let me catch a break either. i break out because im stressed; im stressed because i break out.

im tired. i stay up late at night thinking (emo i realize. shut up) about how things are going to change and what new people i will meet. i keep wondering if my professors are going to be as nice as the school brochure claims they are. i lay there and i try to turn off my mind so i can get some decent sleep; i try to get my mind to go blank.

when something is far off, you cant wait to taste it, but once the moment you think you have been waiting for is finally there, you dont know what to do with it.

our entire senior year revolved around the fact that "i wont have to be in this dumb ass school anymore.." "i wont have to go to high school next year.." "im so done with all these little kids in this stupid building.." "next year im going to COLLEGE and i wont have to be bothered with this shit."

we didint think about the fact that we would have new shit to be bothered with. like having to build new friendships, even though the ones you already had were perfectly fine. or leaving your family that loves you till no end, even though you dont like them most of the time. or learning you way around a new campus.

sorry i am being such a downer right now, i wish i could just let my mind go blank so i wouldnt have to think about any of this.

<3

memory lane

remember this? hehe

So as Kristen reminded me in her last entry, we need to keep updating our blogs so that the creation of this project isnt in vain.

I uploaded these to highlight some things from our senior year...awww look at us..high schoolers..hehehe..more to come.

<3

let me tell you what happened...# 1

mark this as the first entry with this notorious title.

the events that took place this week honestly made my summer.

i spent time with a best friend of mine who i hadnt seen in a looooooooong time. Im not sure what i would do if he suddenly wasnt in my life anymore. For two days we turned our phones off; ignoring friends, family and significant others, sat on my couch and ate chinese all day and all night. Hanging out with Salim made me realize a few things:

REALIZATIION #1: that i am a whore. Not a whore in the sense that i have sex with alot of guys, but a whore in that i am always wanting someone more. I am addicted to attention from guys. People know me for having multiple "boos" as I call them, which is an ugly, ugly thing.

I need to get my love life together. With that said i have gotten rid of all of my "boos." Im tired of keeping up with all these guys and im tired of talking to my friends about the drama i have created because of them. Looking back on all the conversations i have had with friends about guys i was invloved with makes me feel like a complete slut and an idiot.

So it stops here. And whats really sad about this is the fact that i might not have much to say now..lol smh.

REALIZATION #2: i need to be involved with guys who are on my level. Holding on to something or someone you have outgrown isnt a good thing. My friends that are in relationships are happy, and i think its because their boyfriends are really on their level. Although the one i am in a relationship with is a great guy, he is not the great guy for me. Having a boyfriend that doesnt give you what you need (thats what she said) isnt fun.

Im pretty sure that's why i have had so many "boos" these past few months. I have been talking to all these boys because the one guy who is supposed to complement me doesnt; and all the other guys i find only fill a part of me. I have been looking for someone who trully made me happy; someone that made me feel wonderful... I convinced myself that the person i was with made me better.

All this time i have been fooling myself.

Knowing that you have not reached your full potential hurts.

Its funny how having a good conversation on a tuesday night at 2 in the morning can cause epiphanies.

<3

okay i guess i should get started...?

Im not quite sure how to go about posting pictures this summer..I know once the fall semester starts i plan on uploading a picture for every day..i think for now i will just add photos that capture the essence of my summer 09...here's three.

7-11-09

The beach. beautiful. good times.

an adorable house we passed on the way to the beach..


7-18-09

TEA PARTY EXTRAVAGANSA!!
this is a picture of me and my friend, Adrian the Goof (hahaha)
cupcakes baked by me; consumed by everyone.

entry number 1

so ummm...
this blogging business came about because my best friends and i wanted to keep in touch with each other without using facebook.

we have been friends since middle school, and now the college years are upon us and we are going our seperate ways..(sniffle sniffle)

Ket is going to Depaul; Nida UIC; Marissa at Vassar; Candice at ISU, and Kristen at Loyola (your girl is going to Grand Valley State University. Social Studies major. Get at me).

hopefully this blog connection will help update us on everything going on with everyone.

so yeah im EXCITED! this is gonna be fun! i cant wait to see what this school year will bring!

Because we all know a picutre is worth a thousand words, my plan is to upload a picture every day. Pictures of new friends, places..stuff like that.
Not too many words on this blog unless i really need to tell a story; hence the blog name, "let me tell you what happened."
anything else....nope. <3