geez man.
i dont know what to think about the fact that i am leaving everyone i know and love and going off to a new place.
i feel sick to my stomach as i write this.
Candice is gone, and within the next week we will all be seperated (sniffle sniffle).
this week i have felt many emotions, and joy has honestly not been one of them.
my family has been working my last nerves...i wish i could be on my own; yet i dont want to leave them.
packing all my stuff up is alot of work...leaving my room to live with someone else in a smaller room scares me.
I am so stressed about everything; my mom thinks the reason my period is so irregular is because of stress...we went to the doctor and she agrees. My skin wont let me catch a break either. i break out because im stressed; im stressed because i break out.
im tired. i stay up late at night thinking (emo i realize. shut up) about how things are going to change and what new people i will meet. i keep wondering if my professors are going to be as nice as the school brochure claims they are. i lay there and i try to turn off my mind so i can get some decent sleep; i try to get my mind to go blank.
when something is far off, you cant wait to taste it, but once the moment you think you have been waiting for is finally there, you dont know what to do with it.
our entire senior year revolved around the fact that "i wont have to be in this dumb ass school anymore.." "i wont have to go to high school next year.." "im so done with all these little kids in this stupid building.." "next year im going to COLLEGE and i wont have to be bothered with this shit."
we didint think about the fact that we would have new shit to be bothered with. like having to build new friendships, even though the ones you already had were perfectly fine. or leaving your family that loves you till no end, even though you dont like them most of the time. or learning you way around a new campus.
sorry i am being such a downer right now, i wish i could just let my mind go blank so i wouldnt have to think about any of this.
<3
i know we are best friends because i am feeling the excat same thing right now.just remember you'll always have us and your family despite the distance. you're not loosing friends. the relatioonships you have a just morphing and changing a bit. that's whaty i have to tell myself constanly when nostalgia hits me. you're going to be fine brooke.
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