the countdown

so i know i said i wouldnt have too many words in my blog, but forget that. you guys know i have too much to say. i will still try to upload a picture for everyday once i start school. oh, by the way:

*public service announcement*

*i think since we are going to diffrent schools and we might not talk to each other as much, its important that everyone comments on each new blog entry written, so that we know everyone is reading and keeping up with the blogs.*

okay. back to whatever i was talking about...which was nothing...

last week was my "sad week" if you couldnt tell from my previous entry. i cried just about everyday. i was really stressed and sad and worried. I wanted to spend time with people, but i felt like i was just going to leave them forever, so i didnt hang out with anyone. i knew i would miss my family too, but instead of talking to them i just hid in my room. and cried. all week.

luckily that week is over. I told myself i could have one week of sulking and sappy songs. that was it. on Sunday i got it all out my system. I faced the fact that i would have to leave for school, that things would be better once i got adjusted, and that i needed to embrace the changes that would take place. As strange as it may sound i knew something was going to happen that would make me want to leave bolingbrook forever...i was correct.

monday night i found out that he has a new girlfriend. to say the least, i was highly upset. i wish i could say that i was happy for him, but im not. it's good he is moving on, but i honestly didnt expect him to move onto someone new 2 weeks after we broke up.

i feel salty.

i feel like a fool.

i feel like a number.

i feel like i lost the game.

i feel like i have been thrown away.

Knowing that the person who was the focus of my senior year and summer was moving on from me was enough to make me want to leave bolingbrook and not look back. Its kinda sad, but this situation really burned me. I know i sound irrational, but its how i feel at the moment. i wish i could just erase this from existence.

i know i will get over it. and im sure in about a month, he is not going to matter. until then, im counting down the days until i leave.

I cant believe im letting a person i dont even "like" dictate my feelings.

pathetic? maybe. real? of course.

on a much higher note Candy Coated Candice and Kristen the Great are already at school. Dearest Nida goes to school tomorrow; i know she will do fine. i just feel bad for those sexy guys..hehehe dont hurt 'em, nida. :)

<3